this last year has definitely been a whirlwind with lots of ups and downs and more importantly, a LOT of learning. it definitely hasn’t been easy by any stretch of the imagination, but if i had to go through it all again in order to be right here right now, i would. because the truth is, that is just living. all our good choices and even the bad ones play a part in getting us to where we are supposed to be, and if we are looking for it, even in the darkest hour we can always find the magic somewhere somehow.
i’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on myself and those around me since my move to kauai and i’ve come to a few extremely random conclusions that i thought would be fun to write down, so why not write them here, right?
hmm where to start. sometimes i talk so much that even the sound of my own voice starts to bug me. and then there are the times where i drink coffee and can’t stop talking at all and the strangest things come out of my mouth. sometimes i make up words to songs just because i want to sing. sometimes, i will just start jumping around because i am so excited. sometimes i cry over nothing and sometimes i cry over everything. sometimes i talk in rhyme because i think it’s funny, or i listen to the same song on repeat for weeks on end. when i’m in a bad mood i drive around with the windows down in my truck with the music so loud that it actually physically hurts my ears. it doesn’t make me feel better but i usually end up more focused on my ears then whatever got me in the funk to begin with. speaking of which, i have the smallest ears of any adult i have ever met, which isn’t new information but, it’s just weird. i always order the ‘808 fairytale’ cocktail at the bar solely because i love the name. sometimes i just lay on the floor and watch the fan spin when i’m trying to think. i believe in setting the tone of whatever is happening with the right soundtrack and turns out i’m actually not so bad at cooking. i cooked 2 different things this week! well, okay. over the last 2 weeks, but still it’s better than mango-salsa-egg-wraps for dinner every night. high five to me. i change my clothes at least twice a day and everytime i go to the beach i bring no less than 3 spare bikinis in my backpack. i love eating hummus by the spoonful and sometimes when i go running i just walk, but i figure that i’m wearing running shoes so it still counts. i hate going to bed before 2am and i spend way to much time looking and taking photographs with my phone. i’m not very good at watching movies and about 20minutes in i almost always have to take a little break and do something else. sometimes i imagine my life as a movie and think that if it was, it would be a dang good one. it’s crazy fun to rap eminem rap songs at kareoke stone cold sober, apparently march madness is basketball. at one point in my life i thought i would never feel okay, and now i can see that i am more than ok. i am genuinely so happy. sometimes i feel so fortunate that my eyes fill with tears and turns out i actually love camping, especially when it is unplanned and we’re all unprepared, it’s way more exciting that way. the biggest thing i have learned over the last few months is that life can be so much fun when you surround yourself with the right people and the right energy. and even in the misdst of drama and chaos, there are always so many reasons to smile.