written to calendar girl by stars
i jumped off the paddle board into the bluest water i think i have ever seen, although every time i go out there i say that. i dove down, as my fear of the ocean slowly drifted away and i could think of nothing more than how happy i was. that’s when i came up above the surface and my hair stuck to the front of my face like “cousin-it” and i struggled to take a breath through the strands (haha). i was quickly reminded of how ungraceful i actually am in the water. and how i should be at home. working. it was my work day and i was out in the middle of the ocean with some of my greatest friends and my dad on a last minute paddlebaord adventure taking go-pro photos and laughing so much that it hurt. so what was the problem? exactly. i was exactly where i should have been. it was a good reminder for me that sometimes plans change. well, if we’re being honest, all of the time plans change. and that’s okay. and they need to, that’s life. that’s what is so great about all of it.
sometimes we get an idea in our head and it’s hard to let go of it. it can be something as small as a plan for the day, or something as major as an idea for what your life should look like, and it’s always a mental battle when things don’t turn out to be what you thought they should. when people don’t turn out to be who they say they are, or when situations have endings or even beginnings that are different from you always imagined. but what i have learned over the last few months is that none of that matters.
most of the time, the plan is more distracting then anything, and you have to give yourself a chance to see how it all plays out. life has a funny way of reminding you how to live when you least expect it, and if we are all so focused on how things are supposed to be, we might miss out on what they actually are.
these words have been on my heart for so long and everytime i went to write them it never came out how i thought it should, so i didn’t post it. ironic, right? and even though it seems as if i am writing to you, i’m really writing to us. so here’s to living. actually living. and for the first time ever i’m not pushing in any single direction, i’m just floating and so far, it’s been some of the best most spontaneous and happy few weeks of my life. my heart is so full, i have no idea what is going to happen next week or even tomorrow but i know that i’ll be smiling. and like the song says, i’ve searched the world and i know now, it ain’t right if you ain’t lost your mind. so here’s to being irrational and spontaneous, to letting go of the plan and living in the crazy.