i checked the time and it said 3:56am. i lied there, staring up at the ceiling eyes wide open, my mind begging me to fall asleep so the rushes of thoughts that flooded my brain would stop. i felt like i had so much to say but was using all the wrong words to say them. since when did i have such an issue with my pride. since when did i stay angry just to prove a point. i read a quote once that said “holding on to anger is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die”, man is it ever true.
the next day was filled with self reflection. i thought a lot about the night before, not that it was a big deal, but it was a big lesson for me to learn to swallow my pride, admit i am wrong when i need to and let things go. i thought about how many amazing things happen each day, but when one annoying thing happens it seems to be what gets the most attention. how backwards is that!?? our minds are so powerful, i realized how i had been taking in every word that was spoken, and if the perfect words weren’t said i would take it personally, even when i know that isn’t the intention, which is crazy! there is so much power in acknowledging these silly habits we have, and once we do, we can finally deal with them and move on.
that next afternoon one of my best friends and i got in my truck and drove listening to jamestown revival and ray lamontague as the rain poured down on the windshield. the whole scene kinda felt like it was something out of a sorry-movie haha. i felt so much hope in the fact that i knew i had been struggling with these things for a few months, and now i recognized them, talked about them outloud, and could now start figuring out ways to be better next time! we drove until the road ended, got out of the truck and started walking. the sun was setting, the sky was on fire and the rain faded. we knew there had to be a rainbow somewhere, and after this somewhat sad and reflective rainy day we knew we needed to put some effort into finding it. we walked up and down the dirt road, scanning the skies with polarized sunglasses in hopes to see a burst of color shoot across the sky. the sun was getting lower and lower so we sat on the grass soaking up the raindrops. just as we had almost given up on our hunt for the most epic rainbow while enjoying the sunset, we turned around and there it was. one of the biggest rainbows i’d ever seen, stretching across the ocean all the way to the mountains.
i guess good things come to those willing to sit through the rain. choose to find your rainbow instead of only seeing the storm, even on the darkest days, if you search hard enough i promise you’ll find it.
photographs taken with my iphone 6s – to see more iphone shots of my life, work and adventures – follow along on instagram by clicking here and add me on snapchat for behind the scenes @megcourtney1!
thanks so much for being here! have a beautiful day!